


say my name (if you dare)

by sunshinedinghao



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Gen, Jeong Yunho-centric, Non-Linear Narrative, Self-Harm, Unreliable Narrator, bub idk what au is this even, but its there so beware if thats smth u dont wanna see, ish, not how its usually depicted in a sense, yall can tell this fic is mine bc its a niche au fueled by stress and procrastination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22218802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinedinghao/pseuds/sunshinedinghao
Summary: heavy is the head that wears the crown.(or, one is dead. two is dead. yunho's coronation is tomorrow. it's his turn now.)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 29





	say my name (if you dare)

**Author's Note:**

> *whips, nae naes and dabs while crying* i have finals in a week and i have never been this stressed in my life,,,this is legit just stress relief (tho its also procrastination lmao its ME after all)

the first thing yunho's advisers have him do is re-dye his hair black. he bids goodbye to blue and steps onto the ceremonial balcony before two's body even cools. 

the balcony is high, higher up than he's ever been allowed to be. yunho looks down and feels a dizzying, sharp spike of fear. the railing is purely there for aesthetic. one misstep and he will be joining one and two. 

he looks down again. the view is beautiful, really. thick clouds cover the sky and snowy mountaintops glisten beyond them. he suddenly feels a terrifying impulse to throw himself intentionally off the edge. not one person can stop him - his bodyguards are not even allowed two levels below, and his most high ranking advisers are sprinkled amongst the crowd, where he is sure they are watching him intently. the fact that for this minute, his life is fully his sends a thrill down his spine and dread curling in his stomach.

it would be so easy. two steps. a shifting of weight. the dizziness of freedom.

instead he lifts both arms and flashes his best smile. the crowd roars, surges thousands of metres beneath him. chants, no doubt started by royal officials, reach his ears. _long live the crowned one. long live his excellency. we delight in and honour our majesty, third of the chosen kings, who will deliver us._

his robes are stiff and scratchy. they smell of dust; not even the best wardrobes can keep a robe pristine for twelve hundred years. these black robes are all yunho will wear for the remainder of his days. he has not been allowed to touch black until now, and he will not touch any other colour again.

black is for kings. yunho does not feel like a king.

one's smile had been razor-sharp and dangerous. two's smile had been princely and charming and perfect. according to six, yunho's smile makes him look like a puppy.

"your cheeks kinda do this _pop_ thing and your eyes light up," seven agrees.

yunho smiles. five and six and seven whoop and cheer at the sight. even eight joins in.

"three's smile disarms and lets him go for the throat." four says quietly.

“waxing poetry, i see,” snorts seven. four, for once, does not rise to the bait.

“thank you,” yunho tells four.

yunho finds two’s journal by accident. (he is not sure what exactly it is, to be honest. a log? a manuscript?) thirty-four days after he has been officially declared the crowned one, he sits at his (one’s) desk and waits for the high priestess’ call. she does not call but sends one of her junior squires. the young girl accidentally trips over one of his (two’s) bookshelves. while she is apologizing profusely, cheeks flushed bright red, yunho sees half a dozen circular disks spill out from underneath the shelf.

later that day, he comes back and retrieves the disks. one of them has a spiderweb of cracks form the fall, and he carefully flicks off bits of broken material. his fingers accidentally brush against some sort of button and the disk folds open with a dull click.

yunho almost drops it in shock. when two’s voice sounds, he does drop it and it clatters to the floor.

heart pounding, yunho looks around. there is no one but him.

_december the forty-fifth_ , two is saying. yunho hurries to pick up the fallen disk. a blue light blinks twice, then turns off. two’s voice fades with it, and yunho starts to breathe again.

the disk seems to be a container of sorts, crammed to the max with sheaves of thick, loose leaf paper. two’s handwriting is on each sheet, messier than yunho remembers it to be.

_found out hongjoong had been decoding old pop albums before he was murdered. he seemed to be onto something. i believe he knew he was going to die soon, so he left me a key. his work is hidden in the horizon. x marks the spot. yeosang vowed he would get the message to yunho._

yunho feels a strange sense of isolation when he sees the last word, like his own name is the most unfamiliar thing in the universe. nothing on the page makes sense. he cannot make sense of his gut feeling either, the feeling of run run _run_. so he foolishly stays put until he has opened every single disk and read through every single entry.

some are detached and are mere summaries of two's day. some are chalked with emotion. some are brief, like the first one, and others span many pages. 

"four's been acting really jumpy recently," five says. 

"when _isn't_ he jumpy and paranoid?" seven rolls his eyes, but yunho catches the worried furrow in his brow.

"your job is simple, three." the high priestess tells him immediately after he steps off the balcony and into the top floor of the temple. "you will pretend to create miracles. do not worry, child, just smile and look confident. we handle everything."

yunho hears the head advisor splutter and sees them start to speak. the high priestess brushes them off with a, "we tried to fool the pretty one and look where it got us."

"it worked fine with the runt." the head adviser seethes but does not say any more.

the high priestess continues on as if they had never spoken. "your life will be comfortable and you will comfort the people."

yunho nods. 

"they need hope now more than ever." something in the high priestess' face twitches but it leaves as fast as it had come. she's younger than yunho had expected, hair still an inky blue and a high forehead free of wrinkles. she moves like someone older, with a stiff sort of practiced grace as she stands, robes fluttering.

in life, one was charismatic and a natural leader. he wore his hair long and braid-bound and lined his kingly robes with black furs. the people adored him for his powerful speeches and commanding presence. he promised greatness, in contrast to two's gentle kindness and promises for stability. in contrast to yunho's (the priestess') promises for hope.

his death was like a bomb set off. it was public, as all things tended to be with one, and dramatic. it had been at one of one's rallies. ten gunmen had leapt onto the stage and shot down the bodyguards. one was never particularly big or muscular, but he was bold and thought quickly. he miraculously took down six of the seven gunmen who were still alive.

the last one took a hostage. one surrendered immediately and died with thirteen bullets and five stab wounds in his body.

"so, how was it?" seven does not try to lower his voice. four glares and recites the seventh commandment. _the crowned one does not speak to those uncrowned or not yet crowned._

"scary," yunho admits. they will be okay as long as they are not caught. four is cautious and thinks this is a terrible idea, but yunho cannot - will not let himself be lost like one and two.

four opens his mouth but five beats him to it. "commandment four: the crowned one feels no fear and thus will not speak it." he smiles, wry under the fading dusk light. "four, it is just us in here. do not fret."

"the consequences will be heavier than we can bear," four says, but does not push further. it is as good as an acquiesce from four will be.

six hesitates for a second before asking, "the breeze was nice, right?" 

yunho thinks of the wild wind whipping at his hair. it felt almost alive, and his fingers feel a phantom coldness.

"yes," he smiles at six. "it was very nice."

two's features are serene. he is the same two yunho remembers yesterday, down to his robes and flawless hairstyle. 

that is, besides the fact that he is dead.

"you will extract the crown crystal before we examine the corpse for the cause of death and prepare it for post-death." yunho can hardly hear the high priestess over the roar of blood in his ears. the way she never addresses two by name and her dismissive tone send flickers of unease through his stomach. 

two died peacefully in his sleep, he was told. now, yunho can see that description matches with two's body. there are no signs of struggle. no visible wounds. not even discolouration from poison. yet two has always been healthy. natural death sounds too clean, too fabricated.

the high priestess clears her throat, making her impatience clear. yunho startles, then forces himself to pick up the bejewelled knife. it almost reminds him of a fruit paring knife, and he cringes at the thought. a paring knife made for cutting crystals out of the flesh of crowned ones. he wonders if kingsblood has seeped into the blade yet.

with shaking fingers, yunho reaches for two's sleeve. he pushes it up, revealing the crystal embedded in his forearm, and makes four clean, straight cuts. when he plunges his fingers into two's arm, bile rises to his throat. he tries to will away some of the shakiness in his fingers, as if too harsh a movement would wake two from his slumber.

despite yunho's efforts, the crystal comes out dripping with two's kingsblood. he lets it sit in his palm, surrounded by a pool of thick black kingsblood. a priestess comes over and delicately picks it up with a pair of tweezers. 

it hurts something real when she pushes the still slick crystal into his forearm.

"hey, three, we need to talk." yunho turns at the sound of eight's voice.

"anything the matter?"

eight's lips tighten into a tight sash. "four wants me to pass along another message. hooray for eight the messenger."

"thank you for your services." yunho tries for a joke.

"not the time, your _excellency_ ," eight hisses. it is unlike him to be so snappy. yunho does not quite know what to say.

"two is-was older than one." eight finally says.

yunho's eyes go wide. "seriously?"

eight nods.

"then why was one crown prince? why was one, well, one?"

"that is what i am trying to find out!" eight says impatiently. immediately, yunho's heart sinks.

"please, eight, be cautious. you need to live on." he murmurs, feeling weak with fear for eight.

eight snorts. "why, so i can die last?"

"that is not what i-" yunho bites his lip. "eight, i worry about you."

"how is it my fault that four keeps dropping hints something is going to go wrong?" eight's shoulders are drawn and tense. he only gets snappy when he is anxious and on the verge of panicking.

"i just wish safety for you." yunho puts a hand on eight's shoulder. when eight does not reply, he continues, "i want to protect you."

then, eight looks up, eyes stormy, and says, "haven't you considered that maybe _i_ want to protect _you_ , too?"

when yunho wakes up, he vaguely remembers attending a posh gala but nothing else.

"oh good, you're awake, three." the high priestess is sitting next to him. 

"your holiness," yunho manages a smile through his splitting headache.

"i won't beat around the bush. you're supposed to be dead, my dear."

yunho thinks he has misheard. "pardon me?"

the high priestess' smile begins to strain. "three, there was an assassination attempt. someone managed to poison you, and the public thinks you're dead." flashes of hazy memories finally flood his mind: the feeling of spreading numbness, falling, eight's horrified yell, six by his side and begging him not to leave, seven's shouts for help, five's desperate shaking, four's stunned expression.

"i..." yunho swallows.

"your heart stopped for awhile, but when four removed the crystal, he discovered that you were breathing. somehow, your body fought off the poison." at the mention of four, yunho's heart leaps to his throat.

"could i...could i see four?"

"actually, his excellency has requested your presence despite his busy schedule." the high priestess pauses. "though, i would be careful. we have been informed that he may have played a part in your assassination attempt."

"impossible." yunho says without hesitation. he thinks of four's quiet concern, his thoughtful gestures.

"our sources were highly trustworthy." the high priestess pushes a few buttons on the hologram beside her, and mere moments after, four is throwing the door open. as if he had been waiting.

"could we have a moment alone, your holiness?" four's voice does not sound like his own.

the high priestess harrumphs but goes along with four's request. right at the door, she pauses and locks eyes with yunho, as if she is trying to warn him. her sudden concern is jarring. she has never shown anything besides annoyance with him, after all.

as soon as she's out the door, four lifts his arm and a blinding flash of light erupts from the crown crystal in his forearm. yunho hears glass shatter.

"those were the bugs and cameras." four tells him. yunho breathes a little easier and allows himself a few moments before he musters up the courage to speak.

"i...when you...when you extracted the crystal, was there any kingsblood?"

"there was not." four confirms, and yunho's blood (non kingsblood) drains from his face. 

"i see."

four nods.

desperate to stop his spiralling thoughts, yunho says the first thing that comes to mind. "the high priestess accused you of arranging my assassination, which is preposterous." 

four smiles softly at this. "why must you be so blindly trusting?"

"i do not follow."

"who do you think tipped her off in the first place? i am everything but sloppy." four leans back. a beam of sunlight hits half of his face and forms shadows. 

yunho swallows. tries to make sense of what he has been told. no, this is unlike four. something is amiss.

"you remember two, don't you?" he says. knows he's playing a dangerous game. 

four gives a full-bodied flinch. his composure is completely shattered.

"he was the gentlest among us. and his name, it was pretty, just like he was. we used to call him hwa-hyung, right? then, they said we could not call him that so we stuck to seo-"

"don't say his name!" four's voice is the loudest yunho's ever heard it to be.

"i know you, four. i know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt two or anyone else. or me."

four is silent for a moment. he stands, looking away, and as he leaves the room, yunho says, "black suits you, your excellency." 

yunho finally lets himself cry when he is alone. he lets himself break. presses the back of his hand against his mouth to muffle any noises. twists his other hand in his hair and _pulls._ there is something gaping in his heart, something he is missing. 

he cries and cries until his tears dry, then he rolls up his sleeve and digs his nails into his forearm and cries some more. four was not as careful as he had been with two - there are deep slashes where the crystal used to be, and yunho thinks he is missing a chunk of flesh. he digs his nails deeper and perhaps the cuts are fresh, too fresh. he pulls out a few of his stitches and his arm _burns_ , throbs like nothing he has felt before. 

blood, sticky and wet, flows from his wound and drips down his arm to spatter against his shirt. his shirt is white and his blood is red _he is not a crowned one, has never been a crowned one, he is a fraud and one and two and five and six and seven and eight all trusted him but it has always been a lie_. 

he had never known what those uncrowned meant in the seventh commandment, but he knows now.

he knows he should stop but he cannot stop. he keeps picking at his arm, deeper and deeper and the pain and blood pooling against his elbow is making his head faint and he cannot find a single drop of kingsblood in his veins.

**Author's Note:**

> hey can someone help me study,,,,like i havent done anything today besides write this and watch a shit ton of horizon cams (san's tour de rein!!!! yunhos sprint across the stage and dance break!!!!!!! screams in excited dancer) also if u can figure out the timeline ill be forever happy hehe. anyways my twt is @sunshinedinghao n id love it if u would like to talk!!


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